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ONCE UPON A TIME
Name: Jason McConnell
Canon: bare, a musical
Appearance: Jason is conventionally handsome with an athletic build and the type of winning, broad smile that some would call charisma. He doesn't necessarily want to be that way, but hey -- that's his lot in life, and well, he's going to do it up right.
THE PERSON I TRIED TO BE
He was a golden boy. The perfect son, perfect student with perfect grades, perfect jump shot; his teeth probably glinted when he smiled, but that smile was never really genuine. Only two people saw real smiles from him: his twin sister, Nadia, and Peter, his roommate, best friend, and boyfriend -- not that anyone knew about that last one. Not that anyone could. He was perfect, after all, and perfect boys don't date boys. Prince Charming marries his princess in the end, never another prince. And anyway, his father would kick the shit out of him, and he'd be kicked out of school. Peter was ready to tell, but Jason preferred their gilded prison.
The problem with cages is that you can see between the bars. Matt, Jason's rival in the school play (Romeo & Juliet) and scholastics and Ivy's heart, sees Jason and Peter kissing outside during a rave. At Ivy's birthday party, Peter mistakes special brownies for regular brownies, and in his frustration over Jason's straight act, he tells Matt about their relationship. Meanwhile Ivy makes it all too clear to Jason what she wants from him as she coerces a kiss from him; he gives in because the thing about Jason is, he's more sand than person. He fits into the mold someone hands to him and tells him to conform to.
After that it's downhill from there. Matt calls Jason a faggot and in the panic, with the memory of Ivy's lips and the hope of "correcting" their mistakes, Jason breaks up with Peter, who finds the downfall of his hero shocking and disappointing. Reeling from Peter's reaction and with the weight of faggot on his shoulders, he has sex with Ivy, hoping to find the pieces that he seems to be missing, hoping to find the final piece of the person he's supposed to be.
It doesn't work, but who's surprised?
After spring break Jason apologizes to Peter, offers friendship, but Peter brushes him off. Ivy can't seem to leave Jason alone, no matter how many times he tells her to go away. Things are unraveling, they aren't they way they should be, and he's losing his ability to hold everything together. And then Ivy tells him she's pregnant with his child. Matt overhears and outs Jason as Peter comes in to rehearse and everything's out. Matt and Ivy leave; Peter rejects Jason's plea for help. Nadia offers her brother reassurance but he's too alone already, too empty and broken. He turns to God.
In the confessional, the priest tells Jason what he has to tell him -- that being gay is wrong -- but quickly adds that Jason can ask for forgiveness. Jason goes to the opening night of Romeo & Juliet, where Ivy is Juliet to his Romeo, and he seeks out Peter, his Mercutio. He pleas with Peter one last time, begs him to run away with Jason, start up a life somewhere else. Peter is tired of running. Jason decides he is too. He takes an overdose of GHB.
Before he dies, he catches Peter backstage and tells him the truth; he peels away the gold veneer and lets the stained brass inside show. He tells Peter he's always loved him, and he and Peter share one last kiss before they get shoved onstage where Jason dies, collapsed into Peter's arms.
What happened was, things got dangerous and he lost everything. He was left alone -- all his own fault, of course. He had made a mess of things, lost hold of all the strings he was holding together. He had given out too many pieces of himself to everyone until there was nothing left for himself.
COULD YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ME?
He finds himself alive again with the gold flakes of who he used to be and the need to polish up the brass underneath, make it shine again. It's an effort, and it terrifies him, and though the darkness is alluring, he tries to cling to the light instead.
He comes post-canon, fresh from the tunnel with the white light at the end, though he says he never saw much but darkness. He says it felt like he was swimming in it, like it was a giant blob of pudding.
Inventory:
-- his computer
-- his cell phone (with charger)
-- his 32GB iPod touch (with USB cord) that his parents bought him when his dad backed up over Jason’s dog in the driveway
-- his Wii
-- his game of Rock Band + instruments
-- his script for Romeo & Juliet
-- his Notre Dame acceptance letter
-- the rosary his parents gave him when he was confirmed
-- a Superman figurine Peter gave to him on their third year anniversary
-- enough GHB to kill himself
LINKS
The Voicemail
The Author
The Canon
The Layout
The Profile
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Jason is puppet from bare. He's played by
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
prosopopeya, who is not affiliated with bare in any way. I don't own Jason, bare, or John Hill. I didn't even make his header.
arqueete did.
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